Appeals - Thread 58

Thread by:

zveezy

Username: zvz  (zva on the ban list)
Banned: August 18th or 19th
https://steamcommunity.com/id/zvice

    I was making people uncomfortable with what I was saying. I was speaking my truths, about my life, that I believe to be true. It was my beliefs in myself about the creator of the universe.
    
     In 2012 I was diagnosed with biploarism, including psychotic features. With the highs and lows that come with being bipolar having a voice in your head telling you anything really sucks. That voice is my psychotic feature along with what people tell me are visual hallucinations. The visual hallucinations are wild, they feel like a dream but at the same time I remember everything as if I were there during reality, and because of that I just call them memories. What's even more nutty is that I don't have visual hallucinations while awake, so they must be dreams, right? If you have ever blacked out on alcohol and remembered what you did that night later in life, it feels like that. I have been off medication for about 3-4 months now happily and I have not heard a single voice inside my head that I didn't think of. Amazing what wrong medications or too much of a medication can do to someone. I was taking the highest dosage of Abilify(monthly injection) for four years which I've read about now, was not a good idea. 
     I've come to find through my experiences that when you speak differently or act differently than what the people around you perceive as "normal", you will be outcasted and possibly even called crazy. This has happened throughout my life for being different than the norm, and I have still not gotten used to it even though I'm 27 y/o. 
     Before the ban I was definitely being a jerk and rarely participating in the freestyles. I would like to get drunk and/or high and go into IG server to vent my frustrations. Sometimes I would just get angry at people in the server. I am sorry for doing that because I know people can only take so much pain from someone else until it hurts them, and tolerance is usually lower for a stranger on the internet. I am sorry to everyone I did this too. I have very bad trust issues with family and friends around me, I guess that might be why I come to a random surf/freestyle server to vent. 
     I think I'm wrong in this situation so I will take the blame, since I'm assuming religion isn't allowed on the server. Sorry I didn't read the rules. I would love to get to know this community (IG) because I love music, and would like to get my self confidence up so I could possibly freestyle rap/sing on the server without worries of judgement. Since I don't trust my family a second home for myself would be great and I can see that in IG. 

I would like to request my ban be changed to a warning.

Thank you for reading and stay peace full.


-zvz

Reply by:

zveezy

Hi! I'm back! I am an overthinker at heart and am probably over thinking, but I'd like to type some more thoughts I had about my ban. I might've possibly misunderstood the ban reason?
So before the religious talk, I also was trying to beatbox on my mic through the IG server. I remember making the owner of the server angry from my imperfect rendition of Soundtrack 2 My Life by Kid Cudi. I was trying to replicate the bassline within the melody. I'm not sure if I did not stop when he asked or if I did tbh, but eventually I stopped. However I remember getting asked and/or told I would be banned if I did it again, and of course I responded very poorly.
I think I might've said something like "I was just practicing my beatboxing and you're going to ban me for that, just because you are the owner of a server you shouldn't be like Hitler. Nobody likes Hitler." After talking with a close friend he made me realize I have no right to tell the owner of any server on their own server what to do. You can ban if you like if you own the server, that's fact. I made the Hitler comment because I thought that since we have freedom of speech in the U.S. I should be able to say anything ,even on a CS:GO server located in the United States. That is not the case and I get that now.
I am sorry if I misunderstood why I was banned or maybe both correlate to my ban, I am not sure. I'd like to keep my request for the ban to be changed to a warning. I get that now I have two reason's I could've been banned AKA two warnings have been used. I am hoping you guys are fans of baseball and maybe allow the three strikes (warnings) rule before I am permanently banned for good!

Thank you again for reading this and stay peace full.


-zvz

Reply by:

Jumpman

Hey Zvz,
Hope all is well with you

i'm sorry to see that you haven't received a response.

I've taken the liberty to bump this up to with the rest of the team so we can get you handled. You really care for the server I want to show you that we care for you too.

You will receive a verdict shortly today.

Thanks,
Jumpman


edit: The reason your appeal was ignored was because you didn't follow the format like everyone else. Please revise your thread title (prefix included) alongside modifying the template here.

Reply by:

zveezy

Thanks for responding and the edit.
I'm alright now and figure that I'll just be real, I don't want to work this hard for what this is.
Please believe me when I say this, I don't care anymore.
I put my mind into those sentences to show you guys I cared, and you slap me in the face with a task for no reason.
Thank you for responding and I'm sorry for whatever lies beneath my knowledge of truth on the server.

Thanks for reading and stay peace full.


-zvz